How to enhance your deep listening skills

Are you wondering how to enhance your deep listening skills?   

The world is full of talkers and needs more listeners.

My friend Jenn and I coined the term TLLM, which means to talk less and listen more.

How does it make you feel when someone cuts you off or doesn't pay attention to what you are saying or tries to fix you or discredits what you are saying?

Are you frequently thinking about what you are going to say next and continuously cutting people off mid sentence?  Then this blog is for you.

Deep listening is a form of holding the space for people to heal and connect on a deeper level.  

1st.  Making eye contact is key to making someone feel heard and seen.

2nd.  Mirroring in physical form is a great way for people to feel comfortable during talking and to feel like they are being received.

3rd.  Remain present and grounded.  Have 2 feet on the floor.  Maintain eye contact.  Continue mirroring the person physically if they change body position you can change body position to mirror.  You can nod in acknowledgement of what they're saying.

4th.  Don't think about what you are going to say next.  Stay present to the words that are coming out of their mouth and allow yourself to feel them in your body.

5th.  Don't interrupt the speaker.  Wait until they are finished speaking before you comment or provide your two cents.

6th.  Acknowledge their story and repeat it back in your own words.

7th.  Refrain from giving advice or fixing.  Say things like "I understand what you are saying."  "I understand that must be difficult to go through."  "Wow that's a lot."  Don't say "at least..." or "i'm sorry" or "someone else has it worse"

Sharing and hearing stories is the first step in healing from both parties.  Deep listening is key.  


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